I was sitting around with my soccer team after the game have a brew or two in a team mates back garden and one of the mothers who had lost her teenage son to a bleeding disorder sited this poem. I've read the same poem on many blogs and even heard it in a nursing course and I find it helps people look at their children's diagnosis in a very different light. I thought it would be good to share as it is quite touching and every time I read or hear it I get a few tears in the good ol' eye balls as it definitely hits a chord with me .......It is also a good way of helping family members understand some of what we go through as parents during such a confusing and emotional time with all the unknowns to come......
Welcome to Holland
"Welcome to Holland" I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
By Emily Kingsley
Love It! It brought a tear to my eye but only because it is so true. Take Care I can't wait to see you.
ReplyDeleteValerie
Wow, so well said. After Gary was diagnosed with Parkinson's I think of life going forward very much like a new and different journey. You walk the path given, and have fun along the way. You are in our thoughts often. Take good careof each other.
ReplyDeleteSandra