The Proof is in the Pictures....

Grandma Hedges babysitting while doing some watercolor painting

This is how I heal the brain! Yes he's my new buddy. I heard he's not going to stick around!

The eyes and mouth were made with my chocolate shortcake I made.

Daddy having his calming affect

Alistair mezmorized by the camera

Mom and Alistair cuddling while in the hosptial.

Alistair receiving the noninvasive EEG which was thankfully cleared.


So ya I just thought it would be nice to send you all some pictures after I had obviously had verbal diarrhea on the blog. I always find its best to write when I'm still in the emotion and I guess i obviously was there. I didn't realize how carried away I got until I posted it. So thanks for reading, replying, phoning, and just thinking of us. Because ya...that was a little heavy on this household. So as you can see I have found pleasure in getting outside. Just me and Mr. Snowman hung out and had a very good time actually. I've made a pact with myself that I have to get outside daily no matter what. Yesterday, I started clearing a cross country ski trail out back here on Mom's farm. It should be really nice as its a bit rolly polly and cuts through a lot of nice popular and pine. I was going to take the whipper snipper out today and clear it even better but obviously the snow came and changed my plans. It definitely created a winter wonderland here. It was absolutely gorgeous when we woke up...mind you I LOVE snow!

K Thanks Again

Julie

Truth Be Told! and the Latest Drama...

Hi Hi!


Jason and I have decided to give PG a good go. We've always talked about moving back to PG and now with a little fella part of the package it makes it all the nicer to be closer to mom. Plus it's good timing to trial PG out while I'm on mat leave and Jason can test the waters down here. He'll still do odd jobs up north but we'll just see how it goes. I don't really expect either place to be hummin busy over the winter so we may as well be here with Grandma. I actually made a blog for his business as well to add a visual when we advertise in the paper. Check it out at http://jrmacmillanconstruction.blogspot.com/ Mom is in absolute heaven having Alistair about. I'm sure at times its a bit of a challenge for her having the full house. She went from having a place all to herself to sharing it with 2 dogs, her daugher, her son in law, and her grandson. I think for the most part she's lovin it!.... I have to say if we do move permanently away from FSJ I'll miss the people forsure. I've made some really good friends there. But another one of the drawing factors to PG is the huge slash in house prices.

So I have been attempting to write about moving here for awhile now but I always get started and then something else happens. Well SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENED. Friday afternoon I took Alistair outside for a walk. As usual he had his massive melt down as he seems to not be a lover of the outdoors as of yet. But my attitude was "tough kid" I've been feeling quite house bound so he had a good fit while I walked around moms farm with him flailing in my arms. Well when we got back inside I put him on the floor and he instantly fell asleep. Mom and I laughed as his leg was all cocked up funny and I came to the computer to start the above blog. Well I heard mom fussing in the living room and went in and she said he was really stiff. Well when I took him he was what seemed to me spasming to the right. His spine was completely curved to the right along with his neck and right leg. But along with all that his bloomin eyes were fixed up and over to the left. This lasted a couple minutes and then it went away and bam he was zonked again. Then it happened again. I stopped ...put on my nursing hat ( as I'm always worried that I'm just being paranoid from instutionalization) and assessed the situation....a minute later Mom and I were heading to Emerg in PG with Alistair....When we got there the place was hummin busy. As you know I've been quarantining him and being strict with his interactions. So to my utter dismay we head into this craziness. Well I have to say I was very impressed with how quick they got us in. I think we waited 5 minutes. The part that really got me was the Locum Doc. The bloody fellow was hackin and coughing up a storm....at least into his sleeve...and yes he did use hand sanitizer but even Jason, who turned up shortly after we arrived, gave me the look...anyhoo on top of all that the silly bugger stuck his bare sanitized finger into his mouth! ACK. I kept my mouth shut as it wouldn't have made a difference at that point and plus I didn't want to burn any bridges of getting fast tracked. Before long they were taking us up to the Pediatric Unit. So between the time of 4pm and 7 pm Alistair had aproximately 10 of these spasms and then he would zonk out. I was so hoping that this was just going to be a simple febrile seizure. But there was no fever. The Pediatrician on call that night started talking of spinal taps, CT scans, EEG, and blood work. First of all, I've experienced being the nurse during spinal taps with larger children and it isn't the nicest experience to say the least let alone on my 4 month old son! Plus with the CT scan I was like WOOOOO hold your horses there. This is said as when I worked up North I had heard people such as Dr Mackey talk about how children who have had a CT scan can have a higher risk of aquiring cancer. So to me that was a absolute NO or at least a last resort after seeing results from less invasive stuff ....I tell you its a bugger to be suddenly put in a position where you have to make decisions and quick ones in regards to your kid. I said yes to blood work and an EEG (which is a noninvasive test that measures and records the electrical activity of the brain) and with a hell of a lot of persuation I said yes to a spinal tap but I told the Pediatrican he had 2 attempts and that was it. ....Well I nearly threw up during the spinal tap as I sat in the corner watching them fold our poor kid literally in half as he had a massive melt down. I was so close to calling it all off. But one sure struggles with that...you want the results ....does Alistairs symptoms really show a need for a spinal tap....if we don't try and it is something then what...like hells bells its not easy. Plus you have some random guy with a needle sticking it into your kids back. And yes I know he's a pediatrician but we all know that there are people in every profession that shouldn't be there. Not that I'm putting this guy down I'm just saying mama goes in blind. I have to say I sure was wishin I was in FSJ with Dr Moody at the bedside. I just say Dr Moody as I've seen him do a spinal tap on a child and man he was smooth for a lack of a better word. Anyhow the doc wasn't successful and we called it quits. They drew the blood work and that all came back normal except the lymphocytes (shows a viral infection) were elevated and thats it. I was so hoping that something would show up there that would just clearly explain these "spasms" or seizures as the doc was starting to call them. Anyhow, the weekend was hell. We were really just waiting for Monday to arrive where our own Pediatrician would take over care and everyone would come back to work so all these other tests could be done. The other crappy part is the doc was talking tumors, lesions on the brain, viruses, etc... Then on top of it Alistair went down hill over the weekend. His anterior fontanel or front soft spot was visually sucken in on Sat and Sun which had never been the case before. His vitals were super stable yet he would have a total conniption whenever we would pick him up. He just wanted to remain in the crib on his own and he's usually a pretty cuddly fella. Monday at 1am Alistair finally let me hold him. At this point I was beside myself. I definitely was trying to keep things together but flipp ones brain sure can go on a run away. Each time I held him I wondered if it could be the last. The sucken fontanel alarmed me and all his other symptoms. After having a good bawl and cuddle for several hours I jumped in the shower and talked myself back to sanity. Needless to say I really didn't sleep that night. ...Luckily he just got better and better from Monday AM onward, wanting and craving more attention. At least during this whole weekend process he would put up with me holding him just for a feed and then it was instant melt down. So at least his intake was ok. Anyhoo Monday we got an EEG done and today we had a head ultrasound. This evening we found out from Doctor Earl, our pediatrician, that they both came back normal. Whew! I nearly cried. As for his sunken fontanels they are still depressed. However, my super smart little bud there ~ Sandra Whitney~ was chatting with me today and came up with the idea that perhaps Alistair's spinal column was nicked during the attempted spinal tap. Therefore, CSF (spinal fluid) could have leaked out and caused a depressed fontanel as the brain and spinal column are as one. When prego women have this happen after an epidural they can get massive headaches when they move or elevated their heads so they need to remain horizontal. So this could explain why Alistair wanted to remain horizontal all weekend and would have a melt down every time we tried to pick him up. Anyhow, I passed this by Dr. Earl and he agreed this was very likely the case. My poor little man! .............So its been a hellava long weekend for this mama along with Dad and Grandma. I have to say though that there were a heap of wonderful staff that kept on checking up on Alistair and I while we were in the hospital. Eunice, the lactation consultant, Rita, the physiotherapist, and many of the nurses who had originally cared for us when we returned from Women's Hosptial. They were so great for my brain. Everytime they came around I would have verbal diarrhea to get things off my chest! Jason of course was the best. He stayed in the hosptial with us the whole weekend and kept me grounded and slowed me down when I really started to sprial out of control. You know now it almost seems ridiculous how worked up I got internally but hells bells you just don't know whats causing those stupid seizures. Mind you we still don't. Even though the pediatrican doesn't think they were febrile I still think they may have been. This is said as when we were at Women's the nurses always commented on how low Alistairs average temperature always was. Therefore, perhaps a temp of 37.6 C for him would actually be quite a significant temp. Plus he had one of these similar episodes within a week of his 2 month immunizations but it lasted seconds and I put it down to my paranoia. However, he had been dealing with a fever from the shots and it was a scorching 30+ C outside. Then with this last situation he had been off all day but I never took his temp. Then when I bundled him for outside he truly went a bit bazzerk and perhaps his temp sky rocketed quickly and he had a seizure. Its common for kids under 3 (i think 3) to have temperature induced seizures however Dr. Earl said its rare for under 6 months. Not sure why though...I should have asked. Anyhow, perhaps I'm grasping a bit but at least the electrical activity of his brain came back normal and we'll just hope that this seizure issue has or will peter out! He definitely has been his little normal self since Monday...smiling....kickin....swattin....so yahflippinhooo for that! You wouldn't believe how much I loved the smell of the dirt on the farm as i opened the car door to take Alistair inside Mom's house!!! Ahhh yes hopefully I can just continue to look back and smile........Cheers Peps J

Grandma MacMillan

Grandma Hedges Getting Some Looks

Alistair and Grandma MacMillan Having Cuddle Time

Enjoying some Snuggles

Alistair intently listening to Polly

Grandma MacMillan with Alistair

Hello Hello

Well its about time that I stuck another little note up (actually knowing me it won't be so little!) We've been busy with a bunch of visitors the last few days. Grandma MacMillan flew in from Nova Scotia to Grande Praire and then drove down with Jason's sister Bonita and her family towards the end of last week. So we had a bit of a full house for a couple days which was nice. Polly (Grandma MacMillan) was in her hayday cuddling and cooing over Alistair and Hayley (Alistair's 2yr old cousin) while she was over. It was great for her to see how well Alistair really is doing. I forget sometimes that people wonder how "right" he really is as sometimes its hard to tell by the pictures and little video clips. And all of you are too polite to bluntly ask! (Not like me!) Well for all of your information he is right as rain! Ya we are very fortunate. He seems to be mentally a little whipper snapper. As I've said before he does seem somewhat delayed with reaching milestones such as being able to hold his head up, pushing himself off the floor when on his tummy, etc...but like I've said the poor little gaffer was paralyzed and sedated for the first two weeks and then pretty much on his back for the next 4 weeks, AND 2 weeks early! So heck what can we expect. But ya ...he mentally and physically seems to be pluggin along perfectly. The only thing that really needs work is his little fingers. Alistair and I are going back down to Vancouver to see the team at Women's on November 20th. While we're there I also got an appointment with the Occupational Therapist who is a hand specialist and she wants to make him another pair of splints. We almost can stretch his little fingers out completely straight now but he isn't able to extend them on his own so that'll need a bit of work. If she is available we will also get to see the plastic surgeon again for her to reevaluate his little fingers....I guess I shouldn't say thats the only thing that needs work as we are constantly working with him in different ways to help with gaining head control, upper back strength, and just general stimulation. But really I think we all do that in some way or another probably without realizing it. .....Well I'm going to be looking into the H1N1 and general flu shot here tomorrow. I don't know if you realize it but you may get the flu bug or H1N1 bug and not be affected at all but by not being vaccinated against them then that means you may acquire the bug and pass it on to those that are not as strong to ward the bugs off. So thats why they always give Health Care Professionals first dibs on getting the shots as we tend to be around a lot of immunocompromised people. So ya a little sniffle for us can be a deadly sniffle for another....So if you were ever wondering what the heck the point is.......THATS THE POINT! : )...Food for thought anyhoo......Well I had better run off to bed or I'm going to be bagged like I was today! Hope all is well on your end! Cheers Julie.

Milestones!

Alistair lovin the new tub from Grandma Hedges

Grandma conquers two in one day~ soother and bottle

Peaceful!

Grandma Hedges and Alistair

Tummy time

Alistair in some funky little booties from Aunt Bonita

I still have Rita's voice, the physiotherapist at the PG Hospital, echo in my ear on a regular basis. "BreastFeeding isn't the only thing you have to work on with Alistair Julie" Although I know this I still find myself hoping up to his demanding slap of the tongue. I have to remind myself that he doesn't have to be fed at that very instant. So the last few days I've been making an extra effort to work with him prior to the feed. Especially since we can't do any tummy time or anything that manipulates him too much for the first 1 1/2 after a feed as then he has a big ol' up chuck. Because Alistair was on his back for the first two months of his life without tummy time he really doesn't find it a great position to be in. So the fact that we have graduate to 10-15min of tummy time 2X a day is huge. Its my next big push is to get him more and more comfortable with it as I read and hear everywhere that this generation of kids are naturally more behind then the last generations as there is such a lack of tummy time. This is partially due to the SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome)rules to never let a kid sleep on their tummy due to the higher rate of SIDS in this position but also due to the strollers, swings, bouncers, etc.... People just forget to put them on their tummies. Interestingly enough the physiotherapist told me at Women's Hospital that they see a lot of children coming where parents brag about the fact their kid went from lying on their back to walking and totally skipped crawling. However, she says this isn't as great as they think. This is because when they are on their tummies they develop strong upper back muscles from pushing and crawling, plus they develop a lot of their fine motor skills with all the tactile on their hands, tummy, knees, arms etc....So she was telling me that these kids get in school and actually are set back and need learning assistance as they lack fine motor skills and control. They have a hard time reach the opposite hand across their bodies and fine motor control for holding pencils etc...I thought this was very interesting. Its just funny to think that in this day and age we are setting our kids back from something so incredibly basic. I have to say thats what is so wonderful about having all this access to OT's, PT's and the neonatology clinic as they intervene and educate me where need be instead of trying to intervene and change things at a later age when its a lot more difficult. ...The Infant Development Program lady is coming out today to teach me some massage therapy techniques that I can use with Alistair. I was reading this morning that a study showed that if one massaged premature babies 20min a day they thrived better than those who weren't. They are not sure if it is due to the massage or the basic interaction but hey what a great way to interact. I have to say I'm a total sucker for a good back massage so it sure can't hurt him any. If anything the massage I'm already doing on his hands is helping immensly......Mom was playing with Alistair yesterday and got him to take the soother and then on a bottle of my breast milk. This was super as we tried the first time and it worked but it hadn't dawned on me that I needed to keep it up or he'd loose it. So we were definitely struggling with the bottle. But now he's back at it. Just a relief in a way incase something every happened to me where I couldn't feed him for a bit at least we have a couple months worth of milk for back up in the freezer....Alistair has also started to smile a lot more...loves his Dad! He's cooing more, intentionally hitting things, holding his head up a 45 deg when on his tummy, weight baring on his legs when held, and he actually did a little bit of a giggle here a few minutes ago for the very first time! He is literally changing before our eyes. I can't believe the sleepers he's getting into now! Well I had better get off this blog and go have a shower.....

Toodaloo! Julie

3 MONTHS & 5 DAYS~ Reminiscing

Alistair 5 days old with his Daddy & all is equipmentAlistairs very first photograph

Alistair looking Superb at 3months


Hanging out outside in his new suit


Not sure who's enjoying themselves more

Every so often I take a look back at where we've come from and each time it blows me away. One tends to forget the past quite quickly . Whether that is the way the body protects itself or what I don't know but you always hear that mothers forget their traumatic delivery. Well not that my delivery was physically traumatic or difficult but lets just call the first month quite INTENSE! So thats why I thought I'd share a few photos of the first few days just as I find it quite amazing to think that it all took place just over 3 months ago. Unbelievable really. Alistair continues to do really well. Of course he is a good month behind on the milestone side of things but really WHO CARES?! Like the lady said from the Infant Development Program as long as he is constantly progressing that is whats important. ...Its amazing really all the attention he continues to get. At least monthly for his first year he'll be getting home visits from the speech therapist, occupational therapist, physiotherapist, and the infant development program. They all focus on assessing and intervening appropriately inorder to prevent major delays. Its great as they all seem to be realistic with goals and plans. One lady is coming on friday to teach me one on one how to provide therapeutic massage as we can't go to the support group for it. (We're advised to stay away from large groups to prevent acquired infections etc..) So bonus for home visits. Also found out there is a "Toy Library" in town. I guess you can just go and sign out different toys for a alloted period of time allowing one to save money and give your kid some extra stimulation. I thought the library was a great idea....Well yesterday we had a little "Meet & Greet" for Alistair in PG here. It was super nice. A couple of my girlfriends came out plus a bunch of my parents friends that are a lot like family. It was nice just to have a social and show off my little man in real life rather than pictures. Unfortunately I had a brain lapse and forgot to take even one picture!!! Like my friend Sandra said, sometimes its just good not to pick up the camera and take in the whole experience as you can miss a lot looking through a lense all the time. ....Well our last visit to the hosptial went really well. Alistair had only gained 65 grams the week prior and this past week he gained 185 grams!! Yippee. That made mama happy as it fits into the 20gram per day minimum. It was pretty darn obvious on the little guy. His biceps and thighs have gotten a lot more beefy. ....... Breast feeding continues to get easier and easier by the day which is great. He latches quick. He doesn't have to pull off as often due to the high flow of milk. AND there is a lot less upchuckin! ....Alistair is really wanting to get head control now too. He pulls his head up and lets it booble around. He swats frantically at stuff hanging above him. His legs are constantly in motion. When I stand him up he really pushes with his legs and can weight bear. Especially when he's P.O'd!! He's even growing out of some of his sleepers! So yep lots of good headway.....I'm doing well too. Its getting easier and easier for me. I'm getting out of the house more. I'm getting more sleep. I'm visiting some friends. AND I even went and was part of a breast feeding panel. Basically I was asked to share my breastfeeding experience and give my perspective of what health care staff can do, shouldn't do, should've done, could've done, didn't do, and must do. It was quite interesting and there were about 21 people there to share with. One thing that shocked me is that I was asked when I first started to breast feed. Most moms say within 2 HOURS. When I figured it out it was 31 DAYS! Yep 31 days for the first breast feed in which he took for 5 min. 12 days before he was extubated and held by me for the first time. 42 days when he was discharged from Womens to PG NICU. And 21 days in the PG Hosptial. So no wonder the little gaffer will be somewhat delayed!

Well I have been trying to finish this particular blog off for several days so I had better get a postin it!

I'll leave you with a little "Tetley Tea" Theme Song I created for Alistair.

I'm a little Alistair short and stout

Here is my mouth and there's my waterspout

When you tip me over it all comes out

If I don't have a diaper on you better watch out!

(He seems to like me singing this to him!)

K CIAO for now!~ Julie

Swatting his toys. The cow is getting a lot of air time~!

Attempting to wake up!