A BIG FOUR





In some respects its hard to believe that Alistair is four already but honestly in other ways its not. Its been a busy, life changing, and emotionally charged four years. I have never thought WOW isn't it amazing how quick he's changing although everyone would say "isn't it amazing how quick they change" I'd always respond "O ya sure is!" Who wants to hear your little violin anyway. You play it enough and people start disliking the sound of a violin. 

 

I wanted to get away from the birthday party with all the gifts that get stuck in the closet. He has had a bunch there for years. So many people with the best intentions give the worst gifts.

Honestly we struggle to get Alistair gifts on all occasions and because our society is geared to holidays and gifts going hand in hand its another reminder of what he can't do. So Jason and I actually started this last Xmas and that was to stop giving him stuff just for the sake of making ourselves feel better (and worse).



So for this birthday I blatantly said "NO TOYS...if you want to give something bring a helium balloon or a shirt". He loves his balloons by the hour and I love seeing him look smashing and healthy. I guess its the one of a few things that I can do for my little man. Hes still loving his balloons and as for his shirt collection he's acquired some pretty fab looking articles of clothing! I also like having a feast and celebrating for the sake of celebrating. Alistair knew everyone was there even though he doesn't show his enjoyment the same way as the typical four year old I could see his positive spirit for the day.



The thing I'm noticing from year to year is my friends are trying more and more. They are putting themselves in that awkward situation where Alistair pulls his hands away when you go to touch him, he rolls away from them, he his eyes dart into another direction. However, my buddies are learning the patience he needs.

A few (actually many) seconds later he rolls back in their direction, gives them a fleeting glance, and reaches for a short period of time in their direction. This warms my heart that people try. I know its awkward but we love our little man so much and we ache for his isolation and when people put themselves in that situation it just is the greatest gift our family could get that day. The attempt is all that's needed!



To be fair I constantly think of an old friend in first year nursing school who moved away shortly after that year. She had a little fella that had severe cerebral palsy who has sadly since passed away. Plus I've lost contact with her as well. But I always think of the times I came to her home and didn't make that effort and didn't understand the value of the effort.

From that life experience I 've come to realize I can't judge others for feeling awkward or not easily communicating with my son even if its as small as a touch of the hand. But I can educate, provide a patient and understanding environment and over years provide a community surrounding Alistair that will be understanding, supportive and caring.

He gets it people. I know I may sound like a fanatical parent but you get to know how to read the smallest cues of your child. The smacking of the lips indicating pleasure. The pull of the hand from another with a smirk on the face as slight as it may be. The extra roll to get a tad closer to another. Its there but its not the obvious indicators of the typical child. Anyhow, this blog almost has a negative tinge to it it seems but really I'm applauding everyone that is making that attempt to connect with my son and excepting into their lives even if its for a moment. THANK YOU so much as it made for such a special birthday for Alistair.

Anyhow, over the past six months I've been wanting to make Alistair an apparatus to hang his toys off of while he sits in his chair and then he can access them better. So I made the little thingy below. Can you believe that it cost me only $57 to make but if I had bought a similar thingy on off of a special needs sight it would have cost me $257!

I also go down to the Shop at the Art Gallery as girlfriend is the shop coordinator now. Anyhow, she brought in some vibrant water color paintings and since I was drawn in particular to this little turtle I figured it be another neat thing to give to Alistair.

Alistair's actual birthday we went and hung out by the fountain down town and bought this funky little turtle water color.

 Francis loves the water and just had a blast being at the fountain. It didn't take her long to get wet.

 Anyways we had a lovely birthday celebration over several days with food, family, and fun. Cheers Peps!