Change of Focus

Its interesting how the dynamics all change when a new little life enters the family. Over the last three years I've been so focused on Alistair's disabilities and his set backs and trying to fix them. At times I've felt desperate in doing so. "If I just put every ounce of energy in these first magic three years he will...." Then this past fall it started to come apparent that my little boy wasn't going to reach a level that I had anticipated and dreamed of. That reality was tough.

It wasn't until after Francis was born I became aware of this method called the "Anat Baniel Method"

At first when I started looking into it it honestly sounded a little granola crunchy.(Sorry I have no other way to describe it.) Anyhow, I'm still looking into it but from what I can gather it basically is a method of physiotherapy with the concept of shifting the focus to connecting rather than fixing. It uses the philosophy of neuroplasticity in that the human brain changes as a result of one's experience, that the brain is 'plastic' and 'malleable'.

Anyhow, the whole point of telling you about this is that reading her book as helped me change my focus. As she mentions we have a habit of looking at what is broken and wanting to fix it rather than looking at what is and building upon it. So simple but so enlightening to me. Now I'm trying switch my focus and see everything that Alistair can do rather than can't and it is so refreshing.

Just lately we have noticed a few new things with Alistair. They are ever so slight that it has to happen numerous times for us to accept that a change has happened. Anyhow, everyday Jason takes Alistair's arms and puts them around his neck and tells Alistair to give him a big hug and then Jason gives a hug back. Well in the last couple of days he seems to be actually doing it to a certain extent. The other thing is every night we each give Alistair a big kiss goodnight and then we put our cheek to his lips and say give daddy or mommy a kiss. Well again the last couple nights Alistair has made the effort to actually kiss his mom! We still are wondering if we are seeing things we'd like to be there rather than what actually is as its so easy to do that but its just been to coincidental! So its very exciting for all of us and of course heart warming too. So those endless repetitive actions day in and day out may just start to show some results after all!